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2010-12-15

Choices....Decisions....

I'm fine with him not getting all 5's or even 3's on his reports.....
I'm fine with him reading below his level...and so proud of him for the improvements he's made....
I'm fine with it taking him extra time to complete his tasks...
I'm fine with the extra attention and work required from me to help him....
I'm fine with working with him to improve his focus...
I'm fine with helping him manage his anxiety....
I'm fine with testing for learning disorder (i.e.: ADD).... just let me know what it is, I say and mean it, so I can know how to best help him....

So why do I struggle with taking him out of French Immersion???

Have I been holding on to my own ideals... despite thinking I had realized long ago that my boys are their own persons, and that I can not base my expectations of them on my own preferences or abilities? Is it the thought of taking him out of his class, away from the friends he has had since kindergarten, to plunk him in with a bunch of strangers?

Is it the fear of causing him more anxiety - making him think that I think he can't do it? The fear of altering his routine halfway through the year? The fear of the added stress he'll have from being behind in the English curriculum? The fear that it won't solve anything - that his focus and anxiety will still be an issue, and I will have only added to it by taking him away from everything he has ever known academically?

I struggle because I see he enjoys French, and I enjoy hearing him speak it. But like the doctor says, even if he is understanding, just by the fact that he is learning in a language other than his mother tongue, there is another level there. One that may, or may not be, impacting his focus and his anxiety, that could be impeding his progress, slowing down his comprehension of new concepts as his brain wraps itself around the translation &/or transition from one language to another. She's not saying to definitely take him out, nor is she saying to definitely keep him in. We have to make the decision we feel is best for him...

Do I struggle with it from a fear that I have missed something? The fear of realizing I made a decision that did not turn out to be in the best interest of my child? The fear of taking him out of FI, when perhaps, if I leave him in, he will get through it, he will "settle in", finally? The fear of the unknown.... the fear that no matter what I do, I will never be 100% sure the alternative would not have been the better decision?

Decisions, decisions.....

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